Friday, March 20, 2015

Kill Misogyny Mentality, Not Rapist

Too much of rape lately, too many stories on abuse and harassment.  What's happening Brownies? Are you South Asian men gone nuts or too much of TV and film corrupting your mind!? Girls are raped, nuns get raped, even children and old people.  Yuck!

South Asians, or to be more specific Indian Men and sometime Nepalese and Bangladeshi and Pakistani and.....  Oh wait, I cannot stop to one region.  This issue stretches all the way to Africa and America and circles back to South Asia.

Damn! All these human with Penis are rapists.  Wait, I am not.  Not my brother.  Not Mr. Santosh Kumar, my neighbor.  I mean, many are not.  "But Many are as well." 

Errrr.  It’s so confusing.  Penises love sex, but not all sex is rape, but then penises rape, no not all penises rape.

Rape - Sex, Rape-sex, Penis-Sex, Sex-Penis, Penis-Rape.  Enough!!!!!

What is wrong with this world? and what is wrong with me? or maybe nothing is wrong, maybe I am thinking too much.  Sex is normal.  Maybe Rape is normal.


Sorry.  I know am stupid.  Rape cannot be normal.  Should not be normal.  Why? Because we are not animal that can just go jump on a female and bang her.

SCREW YOU! ANIMALS DON’T RAPE (Animal rightists screaming)

Oh Shoot!  Sorry, I know I know, I made mistake.  I always do stupid mistakes.  Okay Okay, I realized they don’t rape.  Dog sniffs around bitch and do anything to impress her but never climb on her without her consent.  Same with all animals, birds and fishes.  See, no one rapes in this Universe. You gotta earn it or buy it.

That’s it.  Sex needs consent.  THAT’S RIGHT.  I got it indeed.  I got the appropriate answer.  Rape is not normal, because it’s against the law of nature (sexual selection).  Win her, impress her, get the "YESSS" then only you make your move.  No consent for sex = RAPE.

So Rape = Universal crime

Phewwww.  Woooofff!  Equation derived to logical end.

So What Is Rape?
Attempt made to engage in sexual activities with anyone of any gender, without consent is Rape.  Which means, your girlfriend is not ready for sex and you force her for sex.  You just raped your girlfriend.  Your wife is not just in mood, but you forced her.  You are a rapist.

People here laugh, if they hear, "my husband raped me last night."

and that laugh is the first clue “why rapes are common here.”

moving forward with the article. 

Everyone loves sex, girls and boys, men and women, grandpa and grandma.  Sex is everywhere, then Why Rape? It’s not only for sex they rape.  If that would have been the case, married man would never rape his own daughter when wife is there or cab driver never would have raped passenger when prostitutes are there if not wife.

Rape mentality is more than just sexually deprived crazy butt.  Many men from South Asia, to be more specific, men from traditional conservative Indian/Nepali society of India and Nepal and other society where where sex is "after marriage" thing and thus people are virgin until their 27-28 and even 30s.  Definitely these guys are sexually deprived but not all these guys become rapist.  Actually if you look at data, most of the rapists are already married and some are in cocky age like late teens and early 20s.  Thus to me, though rape is all about sex, driving factor to indulge on such heinous act  is more than just sexual pleasure.  It's more about mentality than the sexuality.

American clinical psychologist David Lisak, author of a landmark 2002 study of undetected rapists, says that compared with non-rapists, both undetected and convicted rapists are measurably more angry at women and more motivated by a desire to dominate and control them, are more impulsive, disinhibited, anti-social and hyper-masculine, and less empathic
After reading many articles and papers from psychologists and sociologists and other famous intellects and online readings, I have reached to the conclusion that unless we don't recognize the houses and society where rapists from future is growing up, there will be rapists even in 2050, because rape is not sex issue, it's mental issue.

The following points should make sense to you, why too many rapes from India (or South Asia, though less in other regions).

Rapists come from a house where his father teaches him, woman are to be bossed and are to be dominated and controlled, by any means.  "Be a man."  

"Swasni lie thau ma rakhna jannu parcha" (learn to control your wife)
"Pothi baasya ramro hudaina" (don't let female make decision)
"chori lie dherai chada nachod" (don't give too much freedom to your daughter)

I can list out more than 100 of such day-to-day quotes and can you believe these are the social values of Indian and Indian subcontinental society?  Women are literally a subject to be bossed, controlled, dictated here.  Imagine, a kid that is witnessing all these right in front of his eyes and growing up with beliefs that such act on woman is manly things and appropriate and acceptable; do you think this kid once grew up and live with such principles will ever learn to seek for consent and approval from woman in any aspects of life?? This very patriarchal man is one rapes girlfriend, rapes wife, rapes housemaid, rapes weak and poor, rapes anyone that would give him sense of manliness, because to these people, woman (or to be more specific, weak and poor) is just a man-serving creature.

Rapist of one kind comes from here.

Rapists are product of loveless marriage

Naturally speaking, woman to conceive sperm of a man that she choose and man to choose a womb of a woman that he loves, thus baby being born are loved and cared together.  It's hard to be affectionate towards kids from person that you have no natural feelings for.

Let's talk about Indian marriage system (saying Indian here, I mean India and Indian sub continental), marriage is arranged mostly.  Though things have changed and are changing, but 30 years back, it was much horrible.  Parents used to arrange the marriage, guys and girls would get no chance even to say "yes and no."  Boom!  There we go.  Bang for society, breed for society, manufacture some kids, that's it.  Some are lucky that fell in love with dad's-chosen partner, thus kids got loving parents.  Mostly are not so lucky, either shielded by patriarchal ego or victim of loveless marriage and thus kids grew up with no love and affection and end up becoming a clueless emotionless man desperate for love, desperate for attention, obsessed about sex.  Typical mentally sick product of loveless, dysfunctional family.

Rapists from second kind comes from here.

He is from ignorant family and ignorant society 

School teaches you science and history and geology and things, but they never gonna teach you love and sex and concept of marriage and children.  These things are supposed to be taught by parents and society and media in day to day life.  Everything in this world and life has got a purpose and meaning behind, some still makes sense, some has to be revised with changing scenario.  To understand all these, family and society should be progressive and knowledgable enough, so that kids and teens are guided and consulted in understandable and reasonable manner.

Sad enough, we belong to the society, where we still debating on whether "sex education" should be part of syllabus or not.  "Condom" still offends many.  Many are getting married, even without a clue what marriage is for.   Imagine, a kid who is well informed about sex, knows appropriateness and inappropriateness, taught how to deal with urge, told about normal sexual urge over abnormal, and when to seek professional help, surely does deal with rape attitude clinically and therapeutically, whereas those grew up in ignorant family and society, are clueless, helpless and totally unaware about right and wrong.

Rapist of third kinds come from here.

Image Source:

All three are typical Indian society (when I said Indian, I meant India and Indian subcontinental like Nepal, Pakistan, Bangladesh), reason why there are too many rapists here; sexually and emotionally deprived, confused, misguided, ignorant, patriarchal minded.  By killing, hanging or castrating, we may put end to one rapist but that do not guarantee the end to rape culture, because millions are growing up under the same framework.  In the year 2050, some kids from today will be raping some women in Delhi again, because fundamentally we are not doing anything to address the root cause and correct the problem at it's conception.

And to those who think tough punishment would reduce the rape.  A simple question I want to ask.

Smoking causes Lung cancer, why people still smoking?Watching porn is waste of time, why people still watching?There are better things to do than Facebooking, but people still hook onto Facebook, WHY?

Truth, there are many such things in this world that many human are indulged on, despite of knowing bad consequences, because at that particular moment, their mind just go blank and commit the act if urge is too strong.  So those raping 6 years old, didn't rape because there is no strong law.  He raped because he is sick who didn't have capacity to control his sexual urge.

I am not sympathizing rapists.  They have to pay for their karma as per the law, but if we want real solution to it, we should work more in the area of parenting and children, educate people from their childhood on equality and justice, liberalize the society and upgrade the Veda mentality.

Have you heard, in western society, custody of child being taken away from mother or family if not able to raise kids? Do you know, you don't need to be compulsorily in relationship for the sake of society and partner or children, if you think you cannot be in marriage anymore even if there is no fault in partner, unlike country like Nepal or India, where that ground is not enough to break the marriage unless there is serious fault in partner?  All these laws in western society are made for  a reason.  Many people here don't get it.

Want to preserve the Eastern philosophy in totality and patriachal society and bullcrap Middle Age tradition and values even if makes no sense in modern world? all the best for wasting your time and energy in the name of "Eliminating Rape."  Nothing gonna change until we don't kill the patriarchal misogyny mentality.

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